When I was seventeen I wrote an essay about the three people, living or dead, I would most like to interview. The essay was part of my application to New York University. They accepted me, but I didn't go, for reasons I don't need to get into here.
The three people I chose to interview were John Irving, Adolf Hitler and Leonardo Di Vinci.
What a crock! The only one I really wanted to talk to was John Irving, and I'd already written him a letter and got a reply. The other two were calculated choices; I thought they'd be impressive to the admissions board. To my shame, it didn't even occur to me to interview a woman. Hitler?! My god! I'd be terrified! I'd probably get so scared I'd puke on the son of a bitch.
If I had to do it over again, Kurt Vonnegut would be at the top of my list. I've just re-read a small book of his called "God Bless you, Dr Kevorkian." It is based on a series of radio stories he did for the National Public Radio affliate in Manhattan, WNYC. In it, Vonnegut undergoes a series of near-death experiences so he can interview dead people inside the pearly gates. His voyages take place in the lethal injection facility in Huntsville, Texas and are overseen by, of course, Jack Kevorkian.
One of the people Vonnegut interviews is Adolf Hitler. Kurt Vonnegut's essay is far more interesting and inciteful than the one I wrote when I was seventeen. And Kurt manages not to vomit on him, however much Adolf deserves it. In approximately 183 words, Mr. Vonnegut makes the reader (or originally, the listener) consider the nature of remorse, Heaven's admission policy (everyone gets in), American ignorance of history and the human tendency to draw conclusions about that history based on self-interest.
My husband introduced me to a concept he calls "the Barbeque." It is our fantasy cook-out. A place on the guest list is indicative of our approval, admiration and amusment, as in: "Kurt Vonnegut is invited to the Barbeque."
Let's all wish a belated Happy Birthday to our favorite DixieCrat Strom Thurmond, who just turned 100 years old. And let us pray for Trent Lott, who seems to be suffering from foot-in-mouth disease.
